What to remember divorced woman?

What to remember divorced woman?Not offer himself as a sacrifice childNo matter how dear to you baby, he is a separate being. To live with the feeling that you bring the sacrifice of himself, is unacceptable. First, it greatly diminishes you as a person. And it is important to grow next to an interesting person, whom he could respect and who would be proud of.Secondly, in the sacrifice of the mother is always present some unconscious cunning: it means "cost" of the child. In response to your sacrifices, your parent "Ministry" from it will require perfect obedience and following your will and vital issues in the details. This may or explosion in adolescence or conflict around the forthcoming marriage of the child or deformity of his person, the lack of ability to a willful decision.Children "sacrificial" mothers just grow infantile, unable to create families of their own. It is unlikely that you dream about such a fate for your little darling.So try as much as possible, to live a full life, like myself and others. Try to realize in the profession, a hobby. This is important for a happy existence with your family.Grandma must perform the role of the grandmother, not the fatherDo not let your own mother to take the place of the father or head of the family. This place should belong to you - at least as long until you decide to share this role with another man.The grandmother should be allocated strictly defined, specifically "Babushkinskaya" place. If for some reason this does not work, there is reason to think about their own immaturity. In the end, you are the product of cultural-historical situation.Find opportunities to compensate for the child's lack of male influence in the familyThe absence of a father in the family, of course, affects the development and the boy and girl. In particular, gives rise to problems of gender identity and assimilation of gender norms. In order to dilute exclusively female influence on your baby, look for opportunities in which the child will be confronted with models of male behavior. This can be a joint trips with other families. In extreme situations tourist life specifically male behavior usually manifests itself very clearly.Record of the child in the circle, who is a teacher is a man. Finally (the most natural solution), your family - brother, father, husband, sister, uncle, can take an active part in the life of a baby.Not cherish hopes that someday the child will avenge you my fatherNot vynashivaet plans for revenge, saying that you will raise a child by yourself. But this will stop all contact with his father, since the father is a bastard. Such a devastating both for you and for your relationship with your child.This ancient hero could come to the stage of the Greek theatre and solemnly proclaim:For me the choice was destiny determined:Between father sowed and field.After that he was under the plaintive wailing chorus inevitably killed or father, or mother, and then with the same inevitability killed himself. It is unlikely that you dream about it.Experience shows that in modern life, everything happens exactly the opposite. When your child is small, he is honestly trying to share with the mother of her emotions. But at the age of fourteen, sixteen years instead of the desire for revenge in adolescents there is an interest for the missing father. The more acute that the father was separated from him, far and because of this remoteness shrouded in an aura of luring mystery.The teenager begins to search, looking for contacts, communication. He knows the mother painfully react to his interest. So does this secretly, hiding from her meeting and possibly nascent friendship with his father. Sooner or later it will come out. And then you'll have more time to survive the collapse of the women's illusions.The child - not the avenger. The logic of his life does not coincide with ours. He experienced an interest in the father, has long been missing in his life, at the very moment when it begins to separate from the mother grows up, becomes a separate being. Any child in the period of adolescence is looking for a new authority, beyond the boundaries of their own family. And there is such a comfortable situation: alternative inherent in the relationship between mom and dad. Teen all values are questioned. What was once considered a certainly bad, suddenly becomes interesting, intriguing. He already has the experience of misunderstanding surrounding him. At least so he thinks. And he does not want to be identified with female resentment. Of course, he loves his mother, but his father wants to build their own relationships, not on someone else's behest.Have to leave for a child this right. We need to give him the opportunity to meet with his father, matter how unpleasant it to you. And their feelings about their contacts should learn to hide. Better to focus on how to build your own relationship with your son or daughter.And when the child reaches adolescence, locate time and energy to tell him about his birth, about his father, about your love before the divorce. Here there will be a couple of photographs that you hadn't destroyed in a moment of anger, but simply put in the back burner. They need to tell the teenager: in his time and he was the fruit of love, may and had a dramatic end. If you will be able to correctly tell the child the story of his birth, he will be grateful to you. For what? Yes for the fact that his birth was so romantic. From a distance of fifteen or sixteen years is a hell of a divorce and the truth will seem like a crack in the stone.Source: TillRelated articles:news - Respect your child!News - medical records for admission to the school is not requiredNews - to Love a child is ..



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